Shaken

Something happened today that left me reeling and I can’t get this single thought out of my mind: “What if that had been Rowenna?”

On my way to pick her up from school, I saw someone on the side of the road, very obviously hurt in some way. The cars in front of me all kept going – I didn’t even see a brake light indicating someone was slowing down. I didn’t even think. I just pulled over slightly ahead of the person, put on my hazard blinkers, and headed to check out the situation.

The person was an elderly man, not at all dressed warmly enough for our subzero morning, and he was bleeding profusely. He was trying to catch his blood in his baseball cap. I stopped a few feet away, not wanting to startle him, and asked if he was ok. (Clearly he wasn’t, but I had no idea what to say here.)

Within minutes it was incredibly apparent that not only was he injured, he was completely disoriented. He couldn’t tell me anything other than that he was walking to the high school (we were miles from the nearest high school, and my gut told me he didn’t mean Rowenna’s school). I asked a few questions (name, etc) and he couldn’t answer them except to say he wanted to go to the high school.

At this point, the bleeding was really starting to alarm me and he was also trying to walk into the road. 27 weeks pregnant and with a back injury (long story), I realized I needed help myself in order to help this gentleman. I was getting worried he might fall again and I wouldn’t be able to help him up. In the meantime, several cars had already driven past us.

Driven past an obviously pregnant woman (whose face, I can assure you, was not one of calm “I’ve got this” but rather “what do I do?” panic) and an elderly gentleman, under dressed for the weather and obviously injured. It is not an understatement to say my faith in humanity is not strong right now.

After watching a few more cars go by and sort of frantically mentally running through my list of options, and watching the gentleman bleed all over himself and my car, I finally just stepped into the road (yes, bad choice, that) and flagged down the next car. He pulled over and I quickly explained what had happened. The injured gentleman sat in the man’s car while I got a diaper from mine to help the bleeding. The man called 911, I called the school to let them know that we would both be late in picking up our children, and then all three of us waited for the ambulance to come, trying to keep the gentleman as calm as possible while he tried to get back out of the car and yelled about us trying to rob him.

And in all this, my heart just broke. I kept thinking this could be my grandma someday. I kept thinking this could be Rowenna.

It’s estimated that about 25 percent of adults with Down syndrome will develop Alzheimer’s after the age of 35. While it is not a given Rowenna will develop it, it’s something we have on the back burner for our long-term plans. And things like today scare me. I don’t know if this gentleman has Alzheimer’s but he was certainly disoriented and exhibiting classic signs of some type of dementia or memory loss.

If Rowenna was on the side of the road, bleeding, in the middle of winter, would anyone stop to help her? What makes us think it’s ok to just drive right by?

I tried my best to be calm and gentle with him, thinking how much I would want someone to be kind if this was my loved one, even as I choked back panic and tears. But what if the person who did stop was mean, rude, or hurtful? What if they took Rowenna at her word (“I’m just walking to x location.”) and kept driving?

Why do we see people as disposable? And what could ever be so important that you don’t at least slow down and assess the situation? (Ok, obvious pass if you, too, are in an emergency situation and simply cannot stop. But what are the chances?)

I know I can’t live forever. I know it is essential to have a wide network of support for Rowenna in order for her to have a life of her choosing. I know I have to let her fly.

But days like today? They make me want to wrap my wings around my little chick and keep her in the nest with me forever. Days like today hurt.