Big Sister

So I’ve been trying to think of how to describe Rowenna as a big sister but couldn’t come up with the right words. It recently occurred to me that my own expectations and surprise had been getting in the way of that. Rowenna is big sister-ing in her own way, just as she always does.

I had expected a sort of rough-and-tumble approach to being a big sister. She is pretty quick to tackle hubby for a hug and while we constantly talk about being gentle with the cats, well, let’s just say she lacks finesse when it comes to handling them. Rowenna loves hard and plays hard, full of big movement and increasingly clever ways for creating mischief.

Admittedly, it’s been hard to see her big sister-ness amongst the increased tantrums and other attention seeking behavior. (Most of which is wonderfully, frustratingly normal for her age.) We’ve been doing so much redirecting behavior and shielding Afton from stray balls and shoes sailing through the air that it was hard to see that Rowenna is a rather gentle big sister.

But then this happened.

Rowenna was using the iPad with one hand and reached over to hold Afton’s hand with the other. It was so simple, so sweet and I almost missed it because I was about to jump in and stop her before waiting to see that she was being gentle.

Rowenna approaches Afton with care. She doesn’t run up to her or make loud noises. She very shyly walks up and holds her hands out, her way of indicating that she would like to touch Afton. Rowenna doesn’t hold her (by choice), but she does slide her hands underneath Afton’s back and then beams at her little sister. If Afton is in her swing, Rowenna will slide her arms around Afton’s waist and smile at her, a sort of make-shift hug.

When Afton cries, Rowenna now turns to her with concern and will sometimes offer something to her. (At first, Rowenna would quickly leave for a different floor of the house.) She will offer a hat, blanket, or – if she can find one – an empty bottle.

And just the other day, the pair had their very first conversation. Rowenna heard Afton cooing, so she turned to her sister and started to chatter. Afton responded with more coos and smiles, and they were off: cooing and chattering and filling the room and my heart with the blossoming love of a new pair of sisters.

I am very much looking forward to watching my girls grow in love and sisterhood.