Blog Hop January 2014

It’s time for another blog hop with my fabulous fellow bloggers. Links to other writers participating in the hop can be found at the bottom of this post.

As always, it’s a truth, a tip, and a picture.

A truth:

When you have a kid with Down syndrome, strangers are going to say things to you that are sometimes hard to hear and sometimes just vaguely annoying.

A tip:

Pace yourself. It’s ok to not use every single one of these moments as a teaching moment. Really. There’s a time and a place to challenge the assumptions behind things like “You are so strong, I could never do what you do” or “Didn’t you know ahead of time?” And sometimes the check-out line at Target is that place.

But it’s also ok to continue your shopping. As much as I like to take an opportunity to share our experience, sometimes silence is the answer the speaks volumes.

It’s a delicate balance between recognizing that most people mean well and not allowing stereotypes about our families to perpetuate. It’s a delicate balance between advocacy and graciousness. Some situations call for the sledgehammer. (Go ahead. Ask me if I “knew ahead of time.”) Some situations call for a gentle question in response, or a quick one-liner. (Example: “Oh, they’re always so happy!” gets a “Ha ha! Come on over to my house around bed time and let me know what you think!” accompanied by a smile.) Other statements just get a blank stare or a shrug and I move along.

Advocacy energy is finite and we are not expected to be bottomless wells of this energy. Sometimes it is plentiful and bubbling at the surface and explaining to that stranger at the grocery store that they are just as strong as we are is easy and feels right. Sometimes the well is running a bit dry and it takes all of our willpower not to simply say something snarky in return.

And that’s ok. Well, that’s my humble opinion, anyways!

Here’s a picture of my sweet girl. Sometimes on a cold, yucky winter day we head out to the store just to get the wiggles out and interact with people. She was delighted to find a store full of mirrors and furniture to test out!

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